dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
