I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
