K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i was born a porn star she said
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
