please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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