Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
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