He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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