It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
