The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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