Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
