I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
