Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize