Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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