ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
