I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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