just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
