Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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