If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
