yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
