You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
