you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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