Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
