Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
