New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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