ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
