I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
