At least make sure they are 18
Why
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize