Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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