I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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