North Korea, Best Korea!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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