your thong is hanging out like whoa
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
