I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize