yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
