how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
