I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize