Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
COCAINE IS GR8
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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