Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
