You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
