Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
