either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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