you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
