he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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