I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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