super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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