all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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