I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
