I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You are a genius and a whore.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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