You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
