She went from zero to smokin in five shots
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
