look no pants
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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