Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize