I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You have to summon your inner elephant
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
