Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
