I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
