well I can't set my house on fire every night
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
