i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am mentally ready for anal.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
