You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
