Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
